Around 4.30 today my Dr. from the Low Risk Maternity Clinic called me. Last week when I received a letter from the Research Group and lost it bc I stupidly read the letter enclosed (ending with "Congratulations again on your pregnancy!). I had called the clinic (which I thought the social worker had for me) and again requested removal from the group again. The reason for the delay was because Dr. Paniche was away in Connecticut all of last week.
She called today to offer her sympathies and talk to me to see how I was doing. I thought it was really nice of her, considering I had only seen her 2xs, my initial apt and then the one group session. It was nice too in that I could ask her a bit more about an incompetent cervix. We talked about the evening leading up to it and she mentioned the same thing that the OB did at PLC, that a high percentage of women who are diagnosed with an IC do have their water break and go into labour prior to 20w. She confirmed the risks that I had read online about IC and also talked to me a bit about the Clerage but not a lot as it's not her specialty. She also confirmed with me that I could not be checked for IC until I was pregnant again. :0( I had read that, but it's still disappointing. It'd be nice if I could go see the Dr. and have her check and tell me "Yes I can tell right now that your cervix is weak". Perfect world eh?
Dr. P also confirmed that I would be high risk, which rules out a Midwife or going back to the Low Risk Clinic. I'd be referred to Dr. Igras (my follow up Dr.) or one other Dr. bc they are the only two doctors that specialize in this condition. I'm not sure if she meant near me (my area) or in the entire city. Dr. P told me that Dr. I is an amazing Dr. and when she was ready to have a baby she hoped for her to be her Dr. She said she'd be able to re-assure me and answer any questions I had about an incompetent cervix and the clerage procedure. So I've received yet another rave review about her. I'm starting to look forward to seeing her on the 9th.
It's a lot to think about. I'm not saying the procedure followed by weekly visits, limited bedrest and light lifting is not worth having a baby, I'm just thinking about the strain that is going to put on my marriage (once the stitches go in, even once I get pg, no more sex until I have the baby and heal), the chance of infertility from them or even the chance that they could do the procedure and I could still mis-carry.
The thing is, no one can tell me it's going to be ok next time. I need to get comfortable with the idea of being pg again and the chance I could lose our baby again. It's hard to face that unknown. I could say I'm not going to blog here anymore, but I'm finding it therapeutic so I might have a few more entries if I need to.
No comments:
Post a Comment