Tuesday (28th)

**may be graphic, but I need to get it out**

Tuesday evening my brown spotting turned to bright red at around 7.30pm (it's amazing how vivid certain times stand out for me). I got my doppler and was able to get another strong heartbeat of 155 bpm so I tried not to be worried. I *thought* it would stop. At 10pm I got off the sofa, took 3 steps and felt a gush. I thought it was all blood, which made me scream for Owen. Later I'd realize it was my waters that broke and it seemed like it was a gush of blood bc there was blood as well in my waters.

Owen came out of his office, shocked at first, then reached out and held me while I freaked out. He got me upstairs and I sat on the toilet until the waters stopped. Oddly enough, earlier in the evening I had commented to Owen that it felt like I was having Braxton Hicks but how that could not be possible this early.

After I had calmed down more, Owen told me he was taking me to the hospital. He woke up Tash, put her jacket on and got me out the door. We decided to go to PLC (FH is equally the same distance) ER. When we got there I was told they'd see me as soon as they could. About 15 mins later I went to pee and felt what I thought was my baby. I freaked out some more, raced to the ER window and they got me in ASAP.

I laid in a bed in a room for 30 mins before seeing the Dr. that came on at midnight. She was kind, soft spoken and honest. She examined me, told me it was the cord I had felt. =\ Things start to blur, but I remember her, the Nurse, and a few other nurses were awesome. A couple took Natasha off to explore the hospital while Dr. I checked me.

About an hour later I was moved to another place (still not a room, they were full) and was told sadly that I was losing our baby. It was 2am. Dr. I told me that I was dialated and she thought it would be 3-4hrs before I delivered. At this point I sent Owen and Natasha home and he promised to come back in the morning.

I shocked the gyne, Dr and nurses by saying I had zero pain. Each time (every HOUR on the HOUR) I had my blood pressure taken I was asked my pain level and each time I said 0-1, just mild cramps. I started to get worried because I thought "nothing" was happening, which scared me.

I slept off and on until 7.30am when I woke up and went to pee. I felt something. They paged the Dr. and as she came to examine me, thankfully Owen showed up. She told me she could see the baby and she was going to reach up and get the baby. Before she did, she asked if we wanted to see the baby (no) and then she delivered the baby. She was still amazed I felt no pain. She said even though the baby is so small I should have still felt full on painful labour. :0(

A social worker came in later and finally around 2pm they found me a bed. They'd put a request for surgery at 8am (D&C) and I spent the next 14hrs waiting for them to 'find time' for me. I was an E6, meaning up to 6hrs, so anything more urgent came in, I got bumped, and bumped again, and bumped again until 5.30am Wednesday morning.

I was put under so do not remember anything. I went in at 6am, was awake at 6.45am, pushed back to my room at 7pm and FINALLY able to eat. I had not ate since Tuesday at 6pm. You can't eat 8hrs before surgery so I got to fast for.ever.

They put me on anti-biotics so instead of being able to leave an hour after recovery, I had to wait until 2pm.

Now I'm home. I'm told this is where the healing begins.