Positive

Against my better judgement I took a pregnancy test this morning (at 10DPO last time I got a BFN, it was not until 14DPO I got my BFP with Tash). I have (had) four and thought, what the heck, might as well. I was totally preparing myself for a negative, and my breath sort of caught in my throat as the pee went under the little plastic window and I did not even get the control line. I thought WTF?? It's a bad test. Of course I did not use a cup, so I figured Great! now I have to wait until tomorrow. Damn. So I held on to it and came down downstairs to toss it, taking one last look at it to see that not only was there one line, but two bright-no-mistaking-it lines. :D


I have 2 digital tests but decided this morning that since I got a neg with the digital test went I was testing to see if I was pregnant with tash, I figured I'd try the line one bc then maybe I'd get a faint line and I'd test again in a couple of days with the digital. I think bc I'm a freak I'll probably test again with a digital on Friday.

So who have I told? No one. Not even Owen. Last night I asked a stupid question "Do you think I'm pregnant?" and he goes "No, we can't be that lucky to get pregnant so quickly." Then he spent 10 mins. admonishing me about even considering to test today. "Don't do it, wait and if your period does not show up this weekend, then mother nature has told you that you are pregnant, no test required!" Plus it's only 57% chance you'll get your positive this soon, I can give you a 50% chance right now that "no you are not preg" and it's just as good. Gee thanks hon.

I'm sitting here in the kitchen, staring at the test thinking "here we go again" and "Tash is going to be a big sister" followed by "omg I'm having a baby at the end of April!"

Temps dropped.

My temps dropped this morning. :0( I'm 9 DPO and my period should start this weekend, so it's not over yet, but I'm doubtful now. Oddly enough I was not like this when I was TTC with Tash. I'm holding out a bit of hope bc this week I've been having to get up at 6.30 and even though ovusoft adjusts it, I find it to be off. At least in my mind it is. :p My temp did not drop too much and of course yesterdays seemed a bit high to me, so I guess I can't really be disappointed until I get my negative.

I'm still going to test on Friday though (12 DPO). We plan to go camping all weekend in Fernie, so if I'm not pregnant I want to indulge in some alcohol. :p

Because I'm paranoid

I don't want to get my hopes up, but here are a few symptoms that make me think I could *possibly* be pregnant. :D

• Cramping at 7 DPO. They felt like menstrual cramps that I do get, but not usually until my period actually starts. I had them all day and have had them off and on today, so I'm starting to feel doubtful that it's pregnancy related. I mean, really, how long would it take the egg to attach to the uterine wall?? Surely not two days? And it's been super painful at times, so I'm thinking I just ate something bad. :p
  

• I took 2 naps yesterday - 11-12 and 3-4pm. I had gotten plenty of sleep the night before, I just felt soo tired. Very unusual for me since I never nap. I actually hate naps.

• Soo tired the last couple of days. This is something I had when I was pregnant with Tash and at the time I could not fathom why such menial tasks like ironing could make me feel so tired. I don't think this is a typical pregnancy symptom, I think I have this one bc I have such a poor diet (I try honest!) that when a baby starts to grow s/he suck what reserves I have until I wake up and start eating extra to make up for it.

• I noticed a bit of stretchy EWCM today. I read yesterday or was it today? that this could happen when the mucus plug is forming.

• The other thing, even though my temps do not drop below my baseline before my period starts, they never go up to 36.8/.9, which it spiked to yesterday morning - 36.9 and again today. Ovusoft adjusted it though to 37 since I had to temp at 6.30am as to my usual 7.30.

I'm trying really really hard to hold out testing until Friday, which would be 12 DPO, the day my period should start. On top of all these "symptoms" though, I'm also sensing some that could be period related - like sore breasts.

Funnily enough, I was not this anxious the first time. Like I have said tons of times before, Owen had me so convinced that it was going to take us a super long time to get pg that I was totally not expecting to get pregnant soon so I did not pay any attention to these things. :p

Bye bye!

Last night we went out to dinner at the Keg to enjoy their Summer "Lobsterfest!". Friends of ours who only live about a 10 mins walk from the Keg on 11th offered to watch Tash for us, and since it was so nice out, we figured it would be nice to walk there. Plus, it would help walk off the meal afterwards. :p

Anywho, after dinner, we went back to their place and sat around and chit chatted for a while. The cuteness was, when we were leaving, C leaned down and said "Bye bye Natasha" and then his wife repeated it and very very quietly, a whisper really Natasha goes "Bye bye" several times and waves. My heart melted a little.

She's been saying words for a while but had never said bye bye before. C&S love Tash and are always bugging us to watch her and then admonishing us when we come back from out 'date' too early (aka 9-10pm) because they want to watch her longer.

Weird body..

I was saving my database to my laptop and with a recent post on the msg board I'm on, I thought I'd look at some of my previous cycles to see if my temp dropped after the 3 highs signifying O or stayed high, which is believe to mean you are pregnant. Anywho I went back about 6 cycles and my temp always stays high until my period shows up. It never drops below my baseline, it's always in the 36.7-.8 range.

yay for Ovulating

So on schedule I ovulated on Sunday. Owen is yet to be convinced though. He feels going from a baseline of 36.45 to 36.6 is not that big of a jump. However when my usually temp is 36.1-.3 it is a jump. I think my thermometer battery needs to be changed though, it seems to be super slow at getting a reading these past few days.

I've uploaded my chart one last time and won't be uploading it again until I find out myself if I'm pregnant. I really want time to digest it (either way) and feel comfortable sharing. I can't read charts but I know some ppl are excellent stalkers and I'd just rather know whether or not I'm pregnant before they know. ;-)

Let a sleeping Bear lay..

I was out last night and did not get home until 11.30-ish. Before I left Owen said to me "I'll be asleep when you get home, but you can wake me - wink wink". Well I got home, went up to bed and laid there for 15 mins with wondering "Should I, Shouldn't I?" I nuzzled him a few times, he rolled over and snuggled but did not really "wake" up so I decided, no, I'm tired, I'm not in the mood and I'm not waking him up to have sex.

For some reason I thought last time we were TTC we had sex every day for 7 days leading up to O. I checked my chart this morning though and it was only every other day. I then remembered that I had read that you should have it every other day bc every day could lower sperm count and your husband might not be able to produce enough if you did every day. Remembering that snippet makes me feel really silly. Serioulsy I like to think that I am a somewhat reasonable person and thinking that not just makes it seem like complete nonsense. Sure he might not produce as much but it's not like he'd run out...

I feel even sillier to think that I felt I had to have sex last night or it was the end of the world. Yes, very silly. I've been feeling really weird lately.

Weaning.

I'm not quite sure how soon we gave Tash a pacifier but it's not something I thought about before doing, I just did it. It was one of those things where you see them everywhere and just 'assume' it's one of those things that everyone does. The only ground rule I made was that my child would not have a pacifier clipped to their shirt at age 2+ in public. :p She also never (not since we was wee anyway) get it outside of nap and bedtime. She knows the pacifier does not leave the room and will actually take it out when you go in to get her in the morning and hand it to you unless she's dropped it on the floor.

Anywho, for a couple of months now Owen and I have brought up about weaning Tash off her pacifier. We have never actually said "Ok, let's get rid of the pacifier" we've just discussed that we should probably do it before we move her to her twin bed. The only step I made towards weaning it was removing the "collection" of about 8 of them from the change table to a drawer in her closet, only leaving out 2.

Last night I had to work and when I got home Owen told me that he had a super tough time getting Tash to sleep. I asked him why, was she not tired? He then goes on to explain that she was crying sooo hard he thought she had hurt herself and went up to her room to comfort her. Nothing helped so he finally gave her a pacifier. This is where I sit there, staring at him and ask "Umm why did she not have one?" and he goes on to say "Well I've not been giving her one at bedtime for about 2 weeks now, I thought we were weaning her off of it?? She's not complained once any of the times in the last 2 weeks I've not given it to her"

Why yes, we were "talking" about when, but never actually said "OK let's do it". I was really curious about how useful it was to wean her when only one of us was aware that we were actually doing it. So, since I do naptimes I was giving her a pacifier, and because my only participation at bedtime is a hug and kiss before she goes upstairs, I had no idea Owen was not giving her one.

In typical man style, he just laughed and was like "Oh well I guess she knew we were weaning her and changed her mind!" Umm yeah changed her mind all right.

Playing Dress up..sort of..

When I first started putting pigtails in Tash's hair it was quite the battle. She absolutely hated it. I had to go in our en suite bathroom (which really should be called a closet), shut the door and put them in. Within 15 mins she would just pull them out. I kept doing it, even though it caused a tantrum (because I'm a bad mother) and eventually she got use to it.

In the last few days she is now bringing me my hair clips to put in her hair. If they fall out (which they do because she has fine hair) she brings them back to be put in again. Her other new fascination are headbands. She puts them in herself, although not properly, but will wear them for hours.

She also likes to wear my shoes. Slippers, sandals, anything that is out she'll try on and then try to walk in them. I wonder if I'm going to have a girly girl on my hands? I was never one growing up, I was a tom boy believe it or not. Even though I buy Tash dresses and some pink stuff, I never really thought she might not be a tom boy like I was.

Inspiration and more painting.

It occurred to me yesterday after I put Tash down for her nap that once I am pregnant, I'm not going to be able to prime the 3rd bdrm. As I've mentioned numerous times, each time I've painted a room I've had to use special primer. Said primer is oil based and very very strong/stinky. I've found odorless stuff but it's a lot thinner and splatters a lot when applied.

Now, I could have Owen paint the primer coat, but I'd still have to leave the house for the day until he was done and the odor had dissipated. Plus, he never tapes right and it bugs me. :p Long story short, while Tash slept yesterday I went to work. I only got as far as peeling the wallpaper border off before we had to leave for her dr. apt, but it's one step right?

I found inspiration for the room a few days ago but I'm a bit nervous to paint it like in those colours. The main coat is chocolate brown and then there is one wall that has squares with white borders but not a full wall, just two rows. Being the goof I am I taped it out on the wall to try and visualize better how it would look. Obviously it did not help. Owen is scared the brown will be too dark, I'm worried squares on one wall will look funny. Does my future kid's room really require a feature wall?? Plus when I taped it out, the last square I'd paint is only half so I'm wondering if that would look funny or if I should calculate it so that the blocks on both ends are the same size and then the ones in the middle the full 2x2?

Owen told me I could just paint it all one colour, novel idea eh? I did something special for Tash's room, I just feel I should do something special for future kid #2's room as well.

I found some other cool inspiration while browsing the other day as well;

I think these designs are really nice, but I'm not into wall murals so much. It seems like an expensive endeavour (if you have zero artistic skills) for something you will need to paint over when they get too old. The person who did the Mr Men and Little Miss actually painted that, it's not a wallpaper border. I think that is what is making this so hard, I want a room that will grow with my kid and not be babyish.

18 Month Check-up 2 months late.

Like her vaccinations, I always seem to be behind on these check ups. The light at the end of the tunnel is that at age 2 they stop for a while, however, by then we'll hopefully be pregnant with a 2nd child so I get a brief break before all the visits start up again.

Anywho, I took her in to see Dr. Fu and she's a-ok, not that I had any doubts. She's jumped to 90% on the charts for weight but I have no idea for height, they did not measure her. Back in January at her 1 yr check up (notice that one was 2 months over due as well :p) she weighed in at 22lbs, this visit the scale (we've graduated to one you step on instead of the baby scale) said 26lbs but the nurse said it's off a bit so wrote down 28lbs. I'm going to take the middle ground and say she weighs 27lbs.

Either way she's growing like a weed which shocks me since she's such a grazer when it comes to food.

Let's see if I can be on time for her 2 yr apt. I'm guessing not since we'll just be returning from Paris about that time so I'll probably put it off until I recover from jet lag and get re-organize after being away for so long.

First haircut, sort of...

I've been debating for a couple of months now whether or not to give Tash bangs. Somehow overnight it seems she went from being a little baldy babe to having all this hair for pigtails. When her hair is up in pigtails, her bangs are not an issue but since I do not do pigtails every day (when we are just hanging out at home she'll pull them out) the majority of the time she has hair in her eyes.

So last night at my hair apt (yes the little munchkin ended up coming with me and was actually really good!) while my colour was setting I had G trim just her bangs. I also expressed that I did not want a blunt cut bang. I just think it looks weird. I also did not want any cut off the back or sides because I still wanted to do pigtails.

Anywho I'm calling it the non-first haircut since it took 30 seconds and she only cut her bangs. Plus I did not have my camera, since I was unsure if I was going to let G cut her hair. So it's not officially her first haircut since 1) it took G about 10 seconds and 2) was 3 cuts. :p

Weee!

The seller and I had extensive convos last night on Etsy and she found all the fabrics to do the quilt except the Aqua Damask one. She did find a fabric by the same designer though to replace it, it's still Aqua but it's cherry stems instead. I can't wait to get it! She has to order the fabrics and then make it so it will be about 3 weeks but since I'm not pregnant, I'm in no rush..kinda of! hehe just impatient.

In my excitement I also asked her if any of her venders had some cute fabrics for girls (she had a watermelon quilt already made but it was just too much pink for my taste!) and she found Red Farmer's Market by Sandi Henderson. I love the Cherries and the apples! The reds and greens are so pretty.

I decided that some day down the road when the kids see their quilts that Tash would say "Mom why did my little brother/sister have this nice handmade quilt and I had this one?" Seriously! I'm positive she'll say that. :p

Sooo Heather at A La Mode Fabric Boutique is going to make one for Tash too in the Red Farmer's Market Collection. This quilt will also take some time to do as the fabrics are not available until sometime this month for purchase. I'm super excited! The plan is when the kid(s) are older and get married and hopefully have their own kids I'll give them these quilts for their babies. Hopefully they'll like the sentiment as much as I do. :0)

I'm so happy this time to just buy a beautiful quilt instead of the full set. We used the bumper pads a bit with Tash but not really enough to make it worth the cost.

Now if we could just find time to actually TTC. I do not think I've seen my husband for more then 30 mins at a time since Saturday. he's been busy with Stampede and when he hasn't been doing that or working, I've been working. meh.

It's all Beth's Fault. :p

When we were talking the other day she asked if I had bought anything yet for the future kidlet that has yet to even be conceived yet. I thought for a minute and was like mm no, not yet but I really want the the BeTween diaper bag.

After thinking about it for a minute though, I remembered that I had bought Feb-July in GAP zodiac onsies when they were on sale, a boy and a girl outfit and a the GAP Brannan Bear. oops? Either way she put a buzz in my ear (is that the expression?) and today while Tash is napped, I started looking for a crib set. Well not so much a set. I told myself this time I was not spending some insane amount of money on the full crib set like I did with Tash (x2, she has a frog set too that Owen loved and I hated). This time I would just get a quilt and then buy crib sheets if needed.

Anywho, I was perusing ebay and stumbled on this quilt kit and before I new it, I had clicked "buy now". oops? :p

I've also gotten a convo going with an etsy seller for a boy rag quilt that I love too. Whichever one I do not keep/need I'll gift the other. :0)

This is the one I'm looking into having done for a boy;

New Words

For a while now Natasha has been saying words yet she hardly ever repeats them. I keep telling Owen that she learns/says a couple of new words a week but because when he asks her to say that word and she doesn't, he never believes me. In recent weeks though, she's started to repeat a few when you ask her - "Dug" [dog], "Ball", and Bubbles. Her vocabulary is actually getting quite big, she just choses not to share her knowledge with others, especially her dad. It was the same with signing. She's sign for me but not for him.

Today was mission organization. I wanted to get under the stairs cleaned out and finally organize the storage closet that is off the playroom. Of course today was the day that Tash wanted to be right under my feet so it was slow going. At one point she was right in my way, there was not way around her and I was lugging a heavy box so I said "Tash please move for mommy". She stands there staring up at me. So I said again "Tasha please move" again she just stands there. The box is getting heavier by the minute so I nudged her with my foot and go "Tash move now please!" and what does the little bugger do? She stands there looking up at me and goes "Move! Move! Move! Move!" but doesn't move. :p I finally nudged her enough so that I could get by, but it was a bit funny that she learned a new word and repeated it so many times.

Hip Hip Hooray it's a Gymboree Day!

When Natasha was 8m old I signed her up for Gymboree for the first time. I'd stopped myself from doing it earlier bc I really did not feel it was worth the $$ to sit and sing songs/blow bubbles. As it turns out, at 8m she was not really so much into it either. She had just started to crawl, was really timid and spent most of the 45mins clinging to me.

Why I decided to give it another chance in the spring was only bc a couple of my friends who were still taking their kids said it was on special for $143. So I signed Tash up for Lvl 4 and surprise! She LOVED it this time around. When the special came again for the Summer Session and the clause that you could go as many times as you wanted I thought "Heck, why not?" I also did it with the thought in mind that Owen could take her on his Flex Fridays and I could get a nice break in the morning and they'd get some quality time together.

Anywho, Tuesday was their first day together at Gymboree (I went along to kind of show Owen what she liked, didn't like etc) and Owen had a blast along with Tash. I think I made a great choice in signing her up again. :0)

These are my two favourite pictures from the session. It was all about pushing and pulling. In these two she's pushing this HUGE ball up a ramp to drop it off into an innertube;

I love how she got her tongue out in the first shot!

My Husband the Comedian

Me: Honey, I was just inputing my daily info into TCOYF and it says for Delivery Planning we should have intercourse the 14th to the 21st.

Him: I'm off work that week right?

Me: I think so

Him: Sounds like it's going to be an awesome Vacation!

Happy Canada Day!